1.Date a ridiculously hot guy. I mean, or fall in love with him? But you probably won’t, because there is a good chance he will want to talk about the plot of his novel or how much he loved being on a commune or some other bullshit like that.
2. Go abroad. Ultimately, spending money on experiences is more important in your 20s than spending it on stuff. Exposing yourself to a different culture will make you a better, more broad-minded person, plus the FOOD, GUYS.
Wear crazy neon crop tops to music festivals. Now’s the time.
3. Take a lot of Instagram pictures. ‘Tis the age for many unabashed selfies, so that when your adult child is spoon-feeding you Yankee Beans in the nursing home, have proof that you were once dewy-skinned and had a life.
4. Pick up a sport you’ve never played before, even if you suck at it. That way you don’t have to drag yourself to yoga as often, you can meet a new bunch of people to drink with, and you can buy cute sneakers.
5. Eat whatever. Literally whatever. I have thought about mainlining super-cheesy, super-carby lasagna bolognese with more depth and nuance than I have thought about loved ones. Ignore the nutritional label and don’t look back. EVER.
6. Wear crazy neon crop tops to music festivals. Now’s the time.
7. Drink a lot of green juice. Not to lose weight, but to balance out the bolognese. It probably sounds like it tastes like vomit, but it’s shockingly energy-boosting when fresh.
8. Spend time with your parents. Because they’re getting older and you don’t want to regret not doing it down the line.
9. Read Edith Wharton books. Specifically The Touchstone and New York Stories, because they’re all about twentysomething men being weak and wishy-washy and women being smarter and more interesting than them. Also, ballgowns.
10. Keep a journal/sketchbook/scrapbook. Think about how much you are drinking in this decade. You’ll want to remember things, and it will be hard if you don’t keep some kind of record.
11. Buy a nice black blazer. Because it is the single easiest thing to throw on when you’re hungover and your hair is covered in grease and regret, in order to instantly appear professional. Best $ I ever spent.
12. Dance to Missy Elliot in your house by yourself. Garbage bag optional.
13. Practice makeupless Sundays. Let your face breathe at brunch and running errands, dude. You will be surprised how nice your skin looks with just moisturizer on.
14. Five minutes of asana breathing every night before bed. The normal, shallow breaths we take all day are limiting our oxygen supply. I use this app when I remember to.
5. Change your hair drastically. Like go blonde or get bangs, or some other fun play on your identity. #Hair is #powerful.
16. Leave your phone at home for a day. I just broke out in hives typing that. But learn to live in the moment and smell the roses and all those kinds of things that the Olds know how to do.
17. Wear dark purple lipstick. ‘Cause Rihanna and ’cause you can.
18. Have an old-school mixed drink with an egg in it. Like they do in various Old Countries.
19. Bond with your siblings by getting drunk together and sharing messed-up family secrets. Your agoraphobic uncle and his stacks of hoarded newspapers will bring you together.
20. Go on a road trip with your best friend(s). Eat Entemann’s and throw the empty wrappers in the backseat.